What is your first sentence when the child is crying?
"Cry crying? I know how to cry all day long, what is the use of crying?"
"Okay, don't cry, shame and shame."
Even met a mother, as long as her daughter cried, she started to play, and educated the child "to be brave, to shed blood without tears." It is really militarized management!
Think about it, is it difficult for us to control our emotions, so let alone a child?
Children are the most true temperament. They can't control their emotions. When they are unhappy, they will cry. When they encounter difficulties and blows, they will cry. If the goal is not fulfilled and the wishes are not satisfied, he will cry.
But every time my child cries, I will say, "Nothing, crying when you want to cry!", friends will feel incredible, think that I will do this, will teach a weak child, and then she will not be able to move. Know to cry.
What is emotional intelligence? The most important thing in emotional intelligence is the ability to control one's emotions.
The so-called control of emotions is not to suppress, to release, to stay in the bottom of my heart, but to say that I admit that I am not happy, I am not satisfied, I accept my own mental state, but I will not let this emotion control my life, I will solve the problem.
Therefore, when parents cry and make a temper, the first thing they do is not to suppress the child's emotions, but to control our own emotions first.
When we meet a child with negative emotions, we might as well do this:
First, deal with emotions first, post-processing problems
When the child's emotions are out of control, the oil and salt do not enter. At this time, the reason is the most useless. But we will be angry with this because of this, and finally evolved into a dispute between adults and children before the rights.
It is possible that your "violent violence", because the child's weakness, temporarily suppressed him, but he will be rebellious when you are in adolescence, thinking that "wings become hard".
Therefore, when the child has negative emotions, don't think about rude suppression, or ridicule him if he doesn't take it seriously, but accept the understanding of the child's emotions first.
"Mom knows that you are sad now, right? Come and hug, do you think..."
First, let the child understand in an empathy way that he is understood and that bad emotions are normal.
Guide children to vent negative emotions through reasonable channels
Studies of brain imaging have shown that using language to speak out a strong emotion in a person's heart is beneficial to the person's mood gradually calming down. So, if the child can talk, let him guide him to express his emotions.
If the child is still young, let the child stay with the "emotion" for a while, crying and crying for a while. You can also find a special venting tool, such as a pillow.
Of course, you can also let your child draw the dissatisfaction of the heart through painting, graffiti, and enjoyment. You can also let him sing, whatever songs, songs, and tricks can be made, hehe.
Through guidance, let the children understand that it is not his fault, it is human nature, but how to vent is the door to learn, not to anger at the family, nor to blame the child, seeing you are not pleasing to the eye, casually throwing things But there are so many reasonable ways to vent, and let yourself feel good and not hurt others.
Why do many people always love to hurt their closest relatives? In addition to knowing that his loved ones will be unconditionally tolerant, it is also because he has been dealing with negative emotions since he was a child.
Second, guide the child to solve the problem
Many children's goals are not met, and they cry when their wishes are not met.
For example, if you want to play with other children's toys, you dare not say, run to cry with your mother.
At this time, we can hug the child, feel safe with him, and then express the true feelings of his heart. "Do you really want to play the car of Xuan Xuan, and dare not say it, so it is very sad?" . Guide the child and let him solve it himself. Is it bold to ask for it? Still to exchange your own toys? Is the mother talking with you behind you? Or do you say it yourself? and many more.
Children whose emotions are often accepted are generally more peaceful and have a close relationship with their parents. They are also willing to communicate with their parents.
Children who are often prevented from venting their emotions are depressed in their hearts. There is nothing to say to their parents, and the relationship between parents and children is getting farther and farther.
When the child is still young, we can suppress him quickly in a simple and rude manner. Maybe you are not willing to go to empathy, patiently communicate, feel that it is very troublesome, but you are now lazy in the child, maybe he is adolescent It will be returned in time.
So, from now on, try to be more patient with your children. After all, being a parent is a wisdom and a heart-warming practice. Not as easy as you might think, but it's not too difficult. The key is that you are willing to refuse.
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